Updated: Nov 6, 2021
Recently I've come across a graphic/post on multiple social media platforms that "ruffled my feathers" as my mother would say. It was full of so many lies covered in feel-good words.
When I read the post to Wesley (the husband) he said, "Well there is certainly a lot to unpack there."
He is right. Here is what the graphic/post has to say to wives/moms:
I think at the end of the day mothers and wives are begging someone to notice that the floor was mopped, the form was filled out, this weird crevice between the sink and wall was vacuumed, the favorite snacks were bought, the appointment was made, the day was planned, and everyone had everything they didn't know they needed. We are asking for our work to be acknowledged, because if it isn't, it's like what we spend our lives doing doesn't matter. Caring for the people we love brings so much joy, but the weight of all these small things is unbearable when unnoticed.
Reading this post has resonated with so many women, and yet, the words are lying to us—especially Christian women. I am writing this post because it is so easy to be deceived by pretty and relatable words. However, in the end, letting these baseless posts speak into our lives could end in our own destruction.
My prayer in this post is to encourage you. We are not destined for a life lived in vain that is unappreciated, unloved, or unseen. Ultimately, I hope you hear this: God sees you and anything done for Him never goes unnoticed.
Myth: Joy is found in my family/husband/children.
Truth: Joy is found in the Lord.
Romans 15:13 May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Two days ago, I spent the night up with our 7 month old, who decided sleep was for the weak. Once we finally fell asleep, it seemed to be only moments later I woke up at 6am to feed him. From there, I laid him back down, left the house to pick up groceries, came back home, cleaned the kitchen, fed him again, got him ready for the day, took his 7 month photos, and made breakfast.
When it was all said it done, 9am had arrived, and my husband rolled out of bed. I set a plate of waffles in front of him and he said, "Did you get the chicken marinated this morning?"
I exploded on him. "Are you kidding me right now? I have only just sat down after you slept all morning and you want to know if the chicken is marinated? If it's so important, you can marinate the chicken!"
I grumbled the whole morning about the incident. Why couldn't he come to breakfast with a pot of gold for me after all I had done? He apologized repeatedly for the incident, however, I was too exhausted and mad to truly accept it.
The afternoon rolled around and I felt convicted. My joy couldn't be found in the accolades of my husband. I was the one who chose to schedule my grocery pick up so early. I was the one who wanted to take the 7 month photos early. I choose to make a big breakfast on Saturday mornings for the family. Moreover, he wasn't sitting there watching me do all these things. He was sleeping in after a long week at work.
My perspective needed to change. Remembering joy is found in the Lord and not in the amount of tasks accomplished or accolades from my husband not only changes my demeanor, but it changes my home.
As a stay at home mom, I have found I am the beating heart of the household. Where my heart is effects the entire home. When I'm angry/upset, I can see my family shutting down, however, when I cling to the joy of the Lord, my home flourishes.
Myth: My floors must be mopped, vacuumed, appointments made, days planned, and everything else the family needs to be there and ready.
Truth: The Lord is sovereign and He is our core provider.
Let me take the pressure off your shoulders. God does not call us to have a clean floor. He has called us to sit at the feet of Jesus.
Luke 10:38-42 (NIV) As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed—or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
How different would our homes look if we sat at the feet of Jesus and invited our children to join us?
I think it's important to note that Jesus didn't have a problem with Martha taking care of people. He was calling her out for being distracted.
It is important to take care of our families. However, he didn't called us to sweep—although there is value in that. He called me to:
A. Submit to and respect my husband.
B. Raise my children teaching them to live in truth and righteousness.
Everything else is extra.
God is sovereign. He has your children's needs under control. The appointments will get made, the floors will get swept, but ultimately, investing in your family is your main job. Bring them to the feet of Jesus and breathe in every sweet moment.
Myth: When my work isn't acknowledged/noticed, it is in vain.
Truth: Anything done for the Lord is never done in vain.
Colossians 3:15-17 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Sometimes the Lord is the only one who sees us while we're up at 3am feeding an angry baby while your husband continues to snore.
And that's okay.
You're not alone. Being a wife/momma is so hard. Especially if you are a working mom on top of running the household. Don't let the task bog you down or the lack of thankfulness from your family tear you apart.
The Lord has given you the gift of a beautiful family and He wants you to live abundantly in that gift.
So, wife, momma, while you run your home, remember to build your house and your heart on the rock, and whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
(Psalm 40, Colossians 3:17)